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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24010360">That Butler, Mourning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/grelleswife/pseuds/grelleswife'>grelleswife</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kuroshitsuji Role Plays [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Collaboration, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, O!Ciel tries to help Sebastian cope with grief, Past Character Death, Platonic Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:15:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,823</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24010360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/grelleswife/pseuds/grelleswife</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian struggles to process the strange new emotions burdening his heart in the wake of Agni's death. Luckily, his young master might be able to help.</p><p>Written in collaboration with bapydemonprincess on Tumblr</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Agni &amp; Sebastian Michaelis, Sebastian Michaelis &amp; Ciel Phantomhive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kuroshitsuji Role Plays [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>That Butler, Mourning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This oneshot is an edited version of a role play done with my Tumblr friend bapydemonprincess, with each of us contributing equally to the story. It's set place shortly after Agni's canonical death, minus the drama with Real!Ciel.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Even if I’m a demon, it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel, young master,” the butler finally told the boy, who’d confronted him about how he’d been “sulking,” as the boy put it…after Agni’s horrendous death.</p><p>There were, of course, many other things the two would have to deal with, such as that message that had been left at the London townhouse, and what might become of Prince Soma once he’d recovered with Sullivan's aid, but currently they had a very brief reprieve.</p><p>The young master needed his sleep after such a busy day, and despite how Sebastian was currently feeling, he was trying to do his job.</p><p>After all, if a butler of Phantomhive couldn’t work through the pain of losing his only true friend then…</p><p>Sebastian’s eyes drifted away for once, while still properly facing his master, but he tried to hold himself steady. It wasn’t the first time he’d dealt with dead allies, after all. Yes, that’s all Agni had been. Just another ally, another pawn on his master’s chessboard.</p><p>Who had finally fallen like many before him.</p><p>The earl had been unnerved by many things these past few days, but Sebastian’s current demeanor was among the most disquieting. The allies of the Villainous Nobles rarely enjoyed long, peaceful lives, which Sebastian well knew. The demon normally brushed off the deaths of “friend” and foe alike with perfect equanimity. But since Agni’s death, Sebastian hadn’t been himself. Some vital spark had died in his eyes, leaving them dull and despondent. His shoulders slumped, and he went about his tasks mechanically, with none of the pride and flair that normally characterized the Phantomhive butler. The Watchdog wasn’t worried about Sebastian, of course not. No sense in fretting over a devil’s welfare. He just needed to get to the bottom of whatever was troubling his servant.</p><p>Sebastian’s vague reply wasn’t much help. The earl frowned, propping his elbows up on the table and forming a steeple with his fingers. “Why are you this upset over Agni in particular, though? Human mortality has never bothered you before.”</p><p>“I’ll…be back to normal soon enough, young master. These are trying times, even for a demon such as I.” The earl was quick to note that Sebastian’s eyes didn’t quite meet his.</p><p>“You didn’t answer my question,” he insisted. “Why has Agni’s death affected you like this?”</p><p>The butler sighed very quietly. It was barely heard, and more seen by his chest rising and falling.</p><p>He dipped his head almost abashedly and closed his eyes, trying to search for the answer his master required, but… for some reason, the only answer the demon could find was…</p><p>“I don’t know, young master.”</p><p>His voice had become so quiet, a hint of something entirely new coming from his tone. It was…so soft.</p><p>Immediately after he resorted to bowing to the young boy behind the desk, eyes still closed even then.</p><p>“My sincerest apologies for such a horrible answer, my lord, but…I fear it is the truth and there is nothing else I can say, lest it be a lie on my part.”</p><p>Just explaining that outright was like realizing it himself.</p><p>He didn’t know why Agni’s death was affecting him.</p><p>Something lurched inside at this revelation, and Sebastian quickly took another breath, straightening up and trying to still look unmoved and as calm as ever.</p><p>While inside his mind was beginning to riot.</p><p>The earl sat back in his chair.</p><p>“You don’t <em>know</em>?” he repeated incredulously. Their contract prohibited the demon from telling lies, which meant that Sebastian’s answer was sincere. But his butler looked <em>lost</em>. He recalled a very few times, most notably their misadventures aboard the Campania, when Sebastian’s unflappable self-assurance had been rattled, but this ran deeper than that. Not just shaken, but broken. Broken…</p><p>Sebastian bowed, his mouth lined with melancholy. “Forgive me, my lord.”</p><p>The earl realized that he knew that haunted expression. It appeared on his own face staring back from the mirror in moments of weakness, when his treacherous heart forced him to remember the family he had lost.</p><p>Demons didn’t grieve, though. That was an absurd proposition. They weren’t capable of friendship or love the way humans were.</p><p>Or were they?</p><p>Looking up into Sebastian’s mournful eyes, the boy quietly replied, “That’s it. You cared for Agni. You miss him, don’t you?”</p><p>The demon’s eyebrows noticeably went down lower, and lower, as he himself thought over his master’s words.</p><p>“Agni… called me his friend. And as I told him, I’d never had the experience before of a human or any other creature calling me such.”</p><p>His mouth turned up briefly, a small weak smile, as he hoped that besides the khansama, his feline companions would at least call him “friend”.</p><p>But cats couldn’t speak.</p><p>Cats were beautiful and fluffy; they purred, enjoyed and reciprocated affection.</p><p>But they couldn’t communicate with humans or demons.</p><p>And suddenly Sebastian was recalling a time the Indian man had also discovered some roaming cats, and had looked delighted to hold and pet them.</p><p>Agni’s face was right there, in Sebastian’s mind, clear as day. Beaming and bright, laughing and telling Sebastian about things like the tigers the Prince had back home…</p><p>“Sebastian…”</p><p>…</p><p>“Sebastian.”</p><p>The boy wasn’t shouting in a demanding way this time, but more out of shock than anything.</p><p>For right in front of him, as his butler continued to stand there, clearly thinking about his own predicament and memories, the young human saw something that made him doubt his senses!</p><p>“Are…you crying?”</p><p>The earl couldn’t believe it. Sebastian Michaelis, who killed scores of people without a second thought, was openly weeping. Tears poured from the demon’s eyes, running in rivulets down his coldly handsome face.</p><p>“I…” Sebastian blinked dazedly and brought a gloved hand to his cheek. He seemed even more astonished than his master. “But <em>why</em>?” the butler whispered, looking at his lord in confused desperation. The Watchdog took a deep breath. Society dictated that men were never supposed to cry, but such an admonition would hardly be helpful. And seeing Sebastian clearly suffering like this…well, as much as the demon vexed him, it discomfited the earl.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Sebastian mumbled as he covered his eyes with the back of his hand. “I don’t know what came over me.”</p><p>The earl reached into his breeches pocket and found a clean handkerchief. Rising from his desk and walking around to stand in front of the butler, he offered it to him. “Here, take this. No sense in getting your glove all damp,” he ordered gruffly. Then, in softer tones, “My mother used to say that when the soul bleeds, the eyes weep. It’s….er…well, normal to cry when you lose someone close to you.”</p><p>“Thank you, my lord,” the demon said, still so quietly, as he tried to quickly wipe away these curious tears coming from his own face. Just thinking about how he’d let them escape, and in front of his master; the contracted soul he would eat, it was… well, it started to heat up his face a little with some other emotion he rarely ever felt.</p><p>“About Agni himself,” Ciel quickly picked up, still staying rooted where he was now in front of the man, “I believe he would…not want to see you grieving for him. He was a very, ah…happy man, as we both know, so he would want you to try and stay happy too. Or, ah, try to…if a demon can, I don’t bloody know…” The boy trailed off after that, arms crossed and looking away, a bit of a blush coming to his own youthful face for his attempt at cheering up a demon.</p><p>The earl wasn’t sure if his words were helping at all–dealing with England’s underworld was child’s play compared to this–but Sebastian did seem a little more composed. “And…and even when a person you care for is gone, their memory will live on with you,” he continued haltingly. His eyes were watering a bit. Oh, bugger it.</p><p>Sebastian went still. His eyes grew unfocused, as though in deep thought. “Like soul-eating,” he murmured. “The recollections linger long after the spirit has been annihilated. So I can always keep him with…me…” Sebastian’s hand clutched at his shirt, just above his heart.</p><p>The earl got an idea. He wasn’t prone to sentiment, but the demon was clearly in need of consolation.</p><p>“Er…please kneel, Sebastian.”</p><p>The butler glanced at him in surprise but obeyed without question. Before he had time to reconsider, the Watchdog stepped forward and hugged Sebastian, with the demon’s head resting against his shoulder.</p><p>Sebastian froze, once again in utter confusion. His master was <em>hugging</em> him. Of course, the demon had received hugs before, especially from those bubbly, over-the-top servants. But this particular one was from a boy who knew just WHO exactly he was hugging currently.</p><p>He was technically hugging the bringer of his own demise…</p><p>And yet, he latched on, even putting more effort in after a moment, his little arms squeezing.</p><p>Sebastian carefully moved his arms, wrapping them around the boy, and almost cautiously hugging back.</p><p>This action made the boy stiffen, despite being the one to initiate the hug itself, and it took a moment to finally just…not think about it, just let it happen as he awkwardly even tried patting the demon’s back.</p><p>“We…we will get through this, Sebastian. We will uncover the truth, find out who did this.” Ciel suddenly started to smile, even if his butler couldn’t see it.</p><p>“We will find out who killed Agni,” he promised, having a feeling this would be the most reassuring thing he’d told the demon so far.</p><p>And now the boy couldn’t see it, but the thin line of Sebastian’s mouth slowly became a familiar smile as well, as over the boy’s shoulder the demon’s eyes gleamed.</p><p>“Yes, my lord,” he agreed with a lot more gusto than he had in the past hours.</p><p>Still hugging Sebastian with all the (paltry) strength his delicate frame possessed, the earl continued.</p><p>“In the meantime, Agni’s ashes must be returned to his homeland, but I don’t see why we couldn’t construct a memorial for him on the grounds, as well.”</p><p>The demon gasped, “Young master...”</p><p>“We can hold a service of our own, too. I’m sure Prince Soma would approve.”</p><p>Sebastian hugged him more fiercely than before. “And I’ll plant white roses for him there, as pure and beautiful as his soul.” Pulling away, the butler placed both hands on the earl’s shoulders and smiled at him with a gentleness he had never seen from Sebastian before. Sincere gratitude shone in those diabolical eyes, and the boy smiled back with uncharacteristic fondness.</p><p>“If I couldn’t be there for one of my servants in their time of need...well, what kind of master would I be?”</p><p> </p>
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